Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: What parents need to know

(1.6)

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse | First aired: May 5, 2006 | Last episode: November 6, 2016

Come join Mickey Mouse and friends on their slow descent through the 9 layers of hell. It’s that bad.

What happened to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?

Does it really matter? Do you really care? After 10 years of making “new” and terrible episodes, they finally stopped making them back in 2016.

For a while, Disney Channel and Disney Junior both played Mickey Mouse Clubhouse throughout the day. They don’t do that any more or only every once in a long while. They’ve moved on to equally terrible shows like Mickey and the Roadster Racers (review here), T.O.T.S., and other mind-numbing atrocities.

If for some reason you are dead inside and want to search for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Junior, you can check out their daily schedule here.

Where can I watch (or avoid) Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?

My daughter was obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for years. She has been quite disappointed that it no longer airs on Disney Junior or Disney Channel. We tell her it must not be on any more… meanwhile not sharing with her where she can find it. Disney Plus.

Yes, for the low price of 6.99 for Disney Plus only or 12.99 for a Hulu, ESPN Plus, and Disney Plus,* you can share memories with your little one of watching this monstrosity. But I have to ask, why? Why subject yourself to this? All you need to avoid it now is either not getting Disney Plus or not teaching them how to navigate the Disney Plus app… if you do this, you may be screwed.

*Prices may change as I am not responsible for them nor do I profit off them. Prices are accurate as of 6/16/20. For up to date pricing, check out Disney Plus’ website.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Basic Plot

Hiya folks!

(Pause: please say hi to your screen)

Say, do you want to read my review of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?

(Pause: please say yes to your screen)

You do! Well that’s great!

(Pause: For unknown reason, probably to let it really sink it just how terrible this trip is going to be for you)

Oh! I almost forgot! To make my review appear, you have to say the magic words: “Meska mooska – I’m going to regret this – Mouse!”

(Please say the magic words now. Mickey owns you now.)

Say it with me: “Meska mooska – I’m going to regret this – Mouse!”

(Please sing or hum the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song. I know you know it. Even people without kids know the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song. Mickey demands it.)

On the chance you have never actually seen Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, the basic plot (of. every. episode.) is: problem occurs, pick a random assortment of objects to help solve the problem, interact with the TV in a predefined sort of way, solve problem, and return to clubhouse where they dance around like idiots.

If you have never seen it or let you kid watch it, why start now? If you really want to feed the Disney giant, try Disney Junior’s Sofia the First.

Or you could always use it as a way to be a better teacher like this guy explains. Repetition, engagement, encouragement, repetition. Pretty much all you need to be a good teacher.

If you’re on the fence, keep reading.

Things to Consider When Watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

  • Mickey Mouse Clubhouse practically defines the phrase “let the TV babysit your kids.” Honestly, throw this crap on, plop the kids in front of the TV, and get the fuck out of there. When you hear the “Hot Dog” song, it is safe to go back.
  • Mickey doesn’t want you there anyway. Mickey wants to indoctrinate your kids so they want to buy Mickey’s merchandise. If you defy Mickey, he’ll destroy your brain as he turns your kids against you. And you’ll still buy Mickey. Mickey wants to own all.
  • Mickey pretty much owns every entertainment company geared towards children. Marvel… Star Wars… Fox… ABC… Pixar… Go ahead, try to escape Mickey. He won’t let you. Oh, and don’t mention Dreamworks or Sony Studios to Mickey. He doesn’t like it.
  • Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the worst kind of educational TV programming. This is primarily because it is not educational. Your kids will learn more playing outside, listening to a story, playing with a hot glue gun, giving their sibling a haircut, staring at a wall…
  • The Mouseketools are literally an assortment of crap meant to further destroy your brain as you question, vehemently oppose, and then just accept that the object can, in any sense of the word, help Mickey solve the problem at hand. You know what might be helpful? Gin and tonic. Yeah, Mickey is working on that home delivery service. Mickey owns all.
  • Donald Duck is only angry and grumpy because he is the only smart one. He can’t stand hanging with such stupid characters and acts out in defiance because of it.
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: What Parents Need to Know
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Name: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Description: Mickey, Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, Donald, and Daisy team up with a flying Mickey head called Toodles to solve a daily problem. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse tries to stimulate learning through counting, shape recognition, and basic problem solving. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse follows a specific structure so kids always know what to expect.

Author: Nathan

Overall
1.6
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  • Song Quality
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  • Learning Opportunity
    (1.5)
  • Holds Child's Attention
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Dad's Thoughts

Disney Junior’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse may not be the worst show on the network, but it is pretty darn close.

First, let’s talk about the educational value of the show. I am a firm believer that movies and TV shows can spawn learning and creative thinking. But when it comes to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, the term “educational” is used very, very loosely. If you are letting your kid watch the show for educational value, just don’t. There are so many other activities to spawn learning that are better than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, including:

  • watch paint dry
  • watch the wall, who cares if it was freshly painted
  • beat head into wall
  • talk to the wall

You get the picture. If you are actually concerned about teaching your kid something, then read to them, have them play outside, play an imaginary game with them, but don’t let Mickey mold their thinking.

About the only positive thing I can say for the show is that it actually holds a child’s attention. This gives you, the parent or babysitter, a chance to get some other stuff done while Mickey captivates your kid. Avert your eyes and cover your ears, you don’t want to get sucked into its trap though. It will truly take you through the 9 layers of hell.

If your kid traps you, make sure you grab your phone, tablet, laptop, drink, coffee, and/or sedative before you subject yourself to that torture. If you are sick, and using Mickey as a last resort as both my wife and I have, pray the illness takes you soon. Don’t worry, Mickey will take good care of your kids when you’re gone.

If you’re watching, you can use that time to consider how insanely stupid the Mouseketools really are. I can’t suspend disbelief that the random assortment of crap is helpful in doing anything other adding waste to a landfill.

Then contemplate Goofy versus Pluto. They are both dogs. One talks, sort of, and the other acts like a dog. Is Goofy the result of Mickey’s genetic experimentation? Did something go wrong? Was Mickey trying to replicate the success of Stitch and failed miserably?

Then there is Clarabelle. Similar questions for that talking cow. She is the only character who talks like the animal (cow) she is. Was she closer to completing Mickey’s genetic experimentation?

Along that train of thought, Donald is awfully cranky and angry most of the time. He also has impaired vocal capabilities. Did Mickey mess his throat up because Donald was going to snitch on him? Does he now keep Donald around as a cruel joke, daring him to say anything?

These are the thoughts I think about when I have had to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. And oddly, I find these thoughts are more useful than any of the Mouseketools.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is a great babysitter, but don’t let it fool you into thinking it offers anything more than that. Set your kids up in front of the TV and go do what you need to do. Mickey will take good care of them.

 

Pros

Keeps your kid engaged for about a half hour

Allows you to either get stuff done around the house or feel awful when sick

Cons

Mickey owns all. You can’t escape Mickey

Show may drive an adult to drink

Mind-numbing episodes truly test your mental fortitude

How much will you:

  • Hate your life:
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  • Need a drink:
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  • Regret watching:
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  • Feel your brain cells dying:
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  • Feel like Mickey is sucking your soul out:
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  • Regret your parenting decision:
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Nathan

Nathan is not a published author, professional movie critic, or avid fan of most children shows. He is a caring father (when he's not banging his head against the wall), a movie connoisseur of sorts literally able to have full conversations in movie and TV quotes, and dedicated to helping other parents avoid starting a show with their small children that they will soon regret. In his free time, he does nothing. He has two small children. Free time does not exist.

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